he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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