i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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