you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
