I wanna passion pit in your ass
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
