actually, I'm a sock model
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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