Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just had sex on a roof
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
