I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
