Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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