Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
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I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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