I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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