My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
