i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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