Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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