so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
