i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
