Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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