Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
