what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
