I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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