I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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