I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
