my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
