3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
