K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
