once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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