These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
