There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
