Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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