so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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