just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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