based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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