No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
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OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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