But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
