do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
