please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
