wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
