your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
