the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
