so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
