Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
