i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
