bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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