Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
