wanna go halves on a baby?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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