She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
