How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
