my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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