I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
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I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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