I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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