There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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