I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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