We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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