he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize