i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
