i don't plan on having that self control this summer
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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