problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
