...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
