You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
